I Am Issue 917

God, I hate administrivia. All week, I've been looking forward to spending today on my dissertation. It's almost 3, and I haven't even started yet. Why? Administrative glitches have kept me on the phone and email for hours. Student loan problems again. You may remember that this is a perennial problem for me. Actually, I've been plagued all week with administrative glitches. On Tuesday, I was trying to order a book through the library's document delivery system, but kept getting an error message that says that I am not permitted to access Document Delivery. I get in touch with the library, and they tell me that my card is expired, and to go to the DalCard office. I do, and they tell me that my card is not expired, but that my student status has been revoked, and that I am now staff. The DalCard lady tells me to go to the English department, because they're the ones who changed my status. So I run back to the English department, and straight to Mary Beth, because she can fix anything. She tells me that the English department hasn't changed my status, and she starts making phone calls. She reaches someone who says that I have to go to the DalCard office, because they're the ones who can make status changes. (Yay! Admiscircles are great!) She reaches someone else who says that, since my SSHRC ran out, and I'm teaching part-time, I can't have student status--meaning that I can't have my bus pass (which I've paid for) or use the library (which I need). Mary Beth calmly tries to point out that my primary role is a graduate student, so I need to be able to use the library. She leaves many messages for many people. The next day, Mary Beth tells me that she has spoken to many people (registrar, library, DalCard, etc), and that the library people had told her my DalCard was expired. However, when she spoke to the DalCard office, they said my card didn't expire until December 31st. Regardless, even if I do get a new DalCard, it will say I'm faculty instead of a student. No bus pass, no library borrowing privileges. So she keeps looking into it. This morning, Mary Beth (aka my hero) sends me the following email:

Hmmmm. Apparently the DalCard office has a work ticket system.
You are now going to be known as Issue 917.
Looks like they will now give you a bus pass sticker, and a new
card when the one you have expires the end of December. If they
have a problem with this, tell them you're Issue 917, and hopefully
that will clear things up.

For the record, I would like everyone to refer to me as Issue 917 from now on.

This morning, I was going through my mail to find a letter from the CIBC National Student Centre (I LOVE those guys!) telling me that, as my end-of-studies date was April 30, I am now accumulating interest on my student loans, and they enter repayment status November 1st. Sigh. The issues:
1. I am still a full-time student.
2. I am a graduate student, and my annual end-of-studies date is August 30, not April 30.
3. I filled in and submitted all my forms last year. I haven't got around to it yet this year, but since my end-of-studies date was only 2 months ago, I wasn't too stressed that it's still on my to-do list.
So I phone the CIBC National Student Centre (I LOVE those guys!). I spoke to a woman who was either a Nazi or a demon--not sure which. I explain that, every year, I have similar problems. She tells me that she has no records of previous phone calls or emails to the call centre, and that I should have asked to talk to the supervisor, I should have filled in the correct forms, I should have submitted them to a bank branch, and since I didn't do any of these things, my first payment is due November 1st. I told her that I had gone to my school registrar last year, filled out the forms that they told me to fill out, and submitted them. She tells me I should have double-checked, and, since my end-of-studies date is April 30, I should have submitted new forms in September. I explain (again) that my end-of-studies date is August 30, so I still (should) have time to fill out and submit the forms. She tells me I should have made sure my school gave me the right forms. I explain that my school insisted that they had, that they put the correct date on the forms, and that I submitted them on time. She told me that wasn't possible. At this point, I am EXTREMELY frustrated and, I confess, yelling. I ask her to please stop telling me what I should have done, and that I had done everything that I could reasonably do to submit my forms correctly and on time. She tells me there's nothing she can do about it, and that my payment is due November 1. I ask to speak to her supervisor; she says, "Are you sure? There's a long wait." I said yes, I was sure. She suggested that, instead, I request for a supervisor to call me back. I agree. The problem is, the supervisor will not call me back until Monday--November 3, and my loan goes into repayment on November 1. However, there's no guarantee that CIBC will revoke the interest they've been charging me since April.

So. I take a deep breath. I send a very long email explaining the issue to the CIBC Ombudsman. I call the CIBC National Student Centre (I LOVE those guys!) again. When a woman answers, I make sure it isn't NaziDemon again. It isn't. I explain the problem as calmly as I can and ask what we can do. She puts me on hold to check my file (NaziDemon didn't bother) and, when she comes back, tells me that I've submitted Form B, when I should have submitted Schedule 2. I take a deep breath and explain that, last year, when I went to the Registrar, I just asked for whatever forms would keep me in interest-free, non-repayment status with both Alberta and Canada Student Loans. She advises me to send in this year's forms, but insists that there's nothing she can do about last year's--I owe the interest. I try not to cry. I point out that I did everything I reasonable could to fill in and submit all the right forms on time. She suggests that I call the Dal registrar to request a letter explaining that: a) I am and have been a full-time, year-round graduate student, and b) they gave me the wrong form. She also tells me that, even though I go into repayment status on November 1, my payment won't actually be due until the 30th. NaziDemon never told me that part.

And so I call the registrar's office. I explain: I am a graduate student, I pay fees year-round, I asked for the right forms, I got the wrong ones, and now I'm screwed. I ask for a letter "Oh--" I add, "And I'm Issue 917."

Long pause. "I have no idea what that means. I'm transferring you to my supervisor."

Fortunately, she takes the time to explain the whole novella to her supervisor, so I don't have to launch into the whole thing one more time. And here's what I find out: because so many students drop out during the year, they have a policy of never putting grad students' official end-of-studies date (August 30) on the form. Instead, they only put April 30, and we have to come back in April for a second form to submit. WTF?! I told her that nobody had ever told me that. She says I should read my forms more carefully. Believe me, I will from now on. Only suddenly, I remember getting a notice from the CIBC National Student Centre (I LOVE those guys!) last spring, warning me that my end-of-studies date was approaching, so I went and got a shiny new set of forms. Of course, when I picked them up, there was only a Form B, not a Schedule 2. "Didn't you notice that one of the forms was missing?" she asks me. I manage to suppress the urge to point out that my PhD is in English, not Administrative Formology. I'm glad I did: she agrees to write me a letter; I'm to pick it up on Monday.

I'll keep you posted.

Coast Best of Food

It's back! The Coast is now accepting votes for Best of Food! Maybe I'm biased, but I think you should keep Cargo & James Tea in mind for Best Tea, Best Cafe, Best Coffee... and don't forget Zoe, Amanda, Elise, Alia, Christine and Britta when it comes to Best Barista!
Thanks for your vote!
http://www.thecoast.ca/halifax/BestofFood2009/Page

Please Support Research in Arts and Social Sciences!

The recent federal budget calls for SSHRC funding to support business-based research; please sign the petition below, or contact your MP to let the government know that Arts and Social Sciences research is important and deserves funding, too!
http://nikiashton.ndp.ca/sshrc

Why Valentine's Day and All the Other Holidays (Except Hallowe'en) Are Stupid: An Essay

Valentine's Day is dumb. It's a dumb, mean holiday. Thursday, I overheard three different couples arguing (mostly via cell phone) and realized... it's almost That Stupid Holiday again. Now, as you all know, I'm the Twenty-First century Feminist, kicking ass in great shoes, cooking and baking with glee, demanding equal pay for equal work (so there, Sweatervest!), and insisting that someone with male genitalia due his fair share of the vacuuming and toilet scubbing. But I'm all sympathy for the menfolk around Feb 14th. Honestly, haven't you figured it out yet? THIS HOLIDAY IS A TRAP! Because whatever you do, it's not going to meet your female partner's expectations. Not even close. Brought home flowers? She wanted chocolates, babe. Couples' massage? She was hoping for jewelry. Nice dinner out? Wanted you to cook it. And because of the messed up, unwritten rules of this Very Stupid Holiday, we're not allowed to tell you what we want! You're just supposed to know. Because evedence of telepathy shows that you really, really love us. Come ON! Nazis probably invented Valentine's Day.
Also, The Stupidest Holiday Ever is just mean. Single people hate it. Check that: single women hate it. Single men are just hoping that The Mean, Stupid Holiday will have chipped away at single women's self esteem enough that they'll get an easy hook-up tonight. So who likes Valentine's Day? Creepy single men who have little hope of getting any the rest of the year.
In fairness, Tacky Pink-and-Red Holiday isn't the only mean holiday. Pretty much every commercial holiday leaves somebody out. Christmas? Not your favourite holiday if you have a crapload of people on your gift list and a minimum wage income. Thanksgiving? Not the biggest hit with the Native North Americans, I imagine. Easter? It's supposed to be a "spring" holiday, but it just reminds Canadians how long and crappy our winters are? Family Day, Mother's Day, Father's Day, Grandparents' Day? Not hard to figure out who might feel left out on these ones. Canada Day? Not a big hit with the JWs.
So what about Hallowe'en? Diabetics probably don't like this one much. Except that they get to dress up like zombies and exact their revenge on candy-eaters by scaring the crap out of them. Same goes for dentists. Okay, okay JWs aren't big fans of this one either. Still, I gotta say, on balance, Hallowe'en wins the Least Emotionally Damaging Holiday award. Of course, that guy (yup, adult. Grown man.) I made cry at the Fort Edmonton Halowe'en Spooktacular by chasing him with a rotary saw, while wearing a black cloak and goalie mask, probably doesn't agree with me. But at least that psychological damage was all in fun. Crappy Paper Hearts and Stale Cinnamon Candies Day is still in last place in my books.

Also, I Plan to Start Wearing a Trenchcoat, Sunglasses, and Fedora in Public.

Hello, faithful readers. (By which I mean, Hi Phil.)

I'm having some internet privacy issues of late, so I'm going to lock down this Blog so that only people whom I approve can read it. It's probably something I should have done a long time ago, but I hate the feeling that I have to become all paranoid and hide my identity online. Mainly because I'm not all that interesting--I'd always thought that no one would really be interested in anything I post online. Not interested enough to stress about it, anyway.

So... in the next little while I'll be locking down this site. I've already locked down my Facebook page. If you want access to either, just drop me an email: becca {aaattt} cargoandjames {dottttt} com. (My hotmail account is too spammy.)

See ya undercover.

I'm Fessin' Up

Here it is--my confession: I am probably the only person in all of North America who wasn't glued to the TV today. Just after 1 (Halifax time), I made myself a tea, then walked down the hall and peered into all the offices where people were crowded around computer screen, watching the CNN live feed of the inauguration. And when I got back to my office, I cracked a browser window myself. But here's the confession: I wasn't enthralled. I didn't cry.
Before I start getting hate mail, I should clarify: I think Obama is awesome. Wish we could replace Sweatervest with an Obama of our own. I cried when I heard the election results. I feel pretty hopeful when I think of what the next eight (yes, eight) years will be like in the world. But I just subjected Nicole, my friend, colleage and officemate to a tyrade of cynical curmudgeonliness about the obsessive attention to the inauguration. Why? Honestly, I'm not really sure. Except that I feel generally suspicious of ceremonies. I guess what I'm most looking forward to is opening the newspaper over the next few weeks and months and seeing the kinds of things he does as President. Don't get me wrong: the English grad student in me really admires him as an orator. It's exciting (in a very nerdy way) to see rhetoric used so expressively and effectively in public. Especially after eight simultaneously hilarious and appalling George W years. (What? women putting food on their families?) I guess maybe, too, I think it's a little sad that we won't have such an obvious source of humour for the next few years. But what I think it comes down to is that I feel a little sorry for Obama. I mean, the man could be Jesus or Dumbledore himself and still not live up to all that we want him to live up to. Also, he's inheriting a huge crap pile, and everyone's trusting him to clean it all up: the economy, Iraq, Afghanistan, and more than three hundred years of racism and oppression--the whole shebang. Honestly, does anyone envy this man the task ahead of him? Still, I think we're all hopeful. I guess it's an exciting time--especially after eight years of terror and paranoia. So why am I being so curmudgeonly about the whole inauguration speech? Maybe I'm just a jerk. Or maybe I'm hoping that we're going to see real and meaningful change. And as much as I love a well-crafted, effectively delivered speech, I think that what excites me most is not the speech, but the action that, I hope, will follow.
Or maybe I'm just curmudgeonly.

Let's Act Green!

As usual, I'm probably the last to hear about this, but I like the One Million Acts of Green thing. I like that it gives me easy tips, so I don't feel all overwhelmed, like I have to undergo a major change and save the planet all by myself. I like that it tells me I'm a good girl for the things I've already figured out on my own--like that I should stop using my dryer and air-dry my clothes instead (I love my outdoor clothes line in the summer! I particularly like hanging out Trent's gynch with the yeti!) and that cold water is better than hot for doing laundry. I like that it's giving me new tips to try. I think you guys should join. Unless, of course, I'm the last to get on board and you all know already. Either way, here are a few things I've figured out already:

• Vinegar makes the best cleaning product. Buy a tiny jar of a nice-smelling essential oil (pine and bergamot are nice) and mix pickling vinegar (it's stronger) with a few drops of the essential oil in a spray bottle for cleaning counters, bathrooms, sinks, and toilets. Add a little baking soda to clean the bathtub. Dilute in hot water to wash floors. By the way, vinegar is dirt cheap--cheaper than ordinary cleaners and way, way cheaper than enviro cleaners!
• Eat vegetarian once a week. If you don't like tofu, add lentils to your pasta, or put almonds on your salad. Meat production and processing also produces a lot of greenhouse gasses. Come on--one supper a week isn't all that hard. Just ask Trent!
• Clothes lines are awesome! They make your clothes smell so nice, and wind is a natural fabric softener. Except in the winter. In winter, it's just a freeze-solid-crunchifier.
• Nellie's All-Natural and Watkins make awesome natural laundry detergents. Nellie's even makes a great bleach substitute. Add a tablespoon each of vinegar and baking soda to your laundry for extra cleaning power. Buy powders, not liquids, and always wash on cold.

Okay, now your turn: tell me the ones I've been missing. Oh, and click on the link in my first paragraph and join the challenge!