Awesome Is Not the Standard

I've been thinking a lot lately about the ways we accommodate people--the ways we look out for others' feelings, and respect differences of opinion, different perspectives, different ways of living, and different levels of ability. I think that we're living in a time where we are more willing than ever to make allowances, to respectfully disagree, to open ourselves up to newness, and I'm grateful. But I think that we're throwing out a lot of babies in our 21st century bathwater, and one of them is a respect for excellence, and a recognition of superior achievement, ability, and effort.

I recently had a conversation with a friend about illness, and the ways that a brave, "fighter" attitude is celebrated when we talk about illness. Of course, when you're sick--especially if you're seriously ill or injured, you may not feel up to adopting a plucky, I-Can-Beat-This demeanour. And that's okay. It doesn't mean that you're failing. Succumbing to illness is not "losing." But can we at least acknowledge that a person who faces serious hardships with a positive, determined attitude is worthy of our admiration? Because frankly, it must be hard to face a huge problem and decide to tackle it with strength and optimism.

Similarly, we're past the days (I hope) when weaker students are ridiculed in school. We acknowledge that there are a number of reasons (including learning disabilities) that some students have trouble succeeding, and we try to find ways to help them to learn. But we don't seem to be able to admit that not every student can succeed in every field. And when we shuffle students through courses and programs that they're not intellectually suited for, are we really doing them any favours? If dyslexic Becca asked for academic accommodations in order to complete an accounting program, would you want her doing your taxes? I should hope not. Similarly, when we accommodate every student through every program, we devalue those courses of study for the students who excel in them, and also for those who don't excel, but who work hard and obtain a passable skill level in them nonetheless. I don't think that it's an assault on your personhood to say, "Sorry, friend, but you don't have the skills to succeed here." I think it is, however, pretty insulting to everyone to pretend that everyone can be successful at everything. It's condescending, and it devalues the skills and abilities that each of us does have to pretend that they are on par with the skills we don't have, but that we can apparently succeed nonetheless in a field that is supposed to require those skills.

So let's admit it. Some of us are better at some things than others. Some of us suck at some stuff. That's okay. Let's not pretend that we don't. And let's not pretend that recognizing excellence is tantamount to devaluing the people who don't excel in that same particular moment, field, or achievement.