Something has been bothering me lately, but, due to the moderately public nature of my Blog (and to the fact that, as Tania pointed out, I don't make a lot of effort to conceal my identity online), I had decided not to talk about it here. Also, in an ongoing (and, admittedly, not always successful) effort to be a kinder, more respectful person, I decided it was not nice to say not nice things about other people. Today, however, I'm about done holding it in--it's like I've eaten a big pot of beans, emotionally speaking (actually, I did have beans for supper tonight, literally speaking. Castmates beware). So. If you're keep reading, there's a chance that what you read might offend you. Fairly warned.
Okay. You guys have heard me say this before, but I think that the most important quality to possess is respect. Respect other people--their feelings, their time, their possessions, their opinions. This often means that you have to set aside what you want in favour of what someone else might want or need. It's particularly important in professional settings, or in situations in which a lot of other people are counting on you. Y'know, like in the theatre.
Since I started work on the play (you guys know which one), cast members have been dropping out on an almost weekly basis. It irritated me during rehearsals; if you can't commit to something, don't commit to it. At all. Especially when other people are counting on you. It irritated me even more--and, I have to say, rather hurt me--when one cast member in particular, with whom I felt that I was developing the beginnings of a friendship, quit less than 24 hours before opening night. I was really, really hurt and angry when another cast member quit on Tuesday--in the middle of the run, three shows left to go! This one particularly sucked, because he and I had been developing a definite friendship, and, as self-centred as this may sound, I haven't even received an apology or an explanation from him. He and another actress (who very selflessly took on an extra role the day before our originally-scheduled opening night) and I had a key scene together. Can I please also mention that these last two defections meant last-minute, extra rehearsals for me and a few others, in the middle of or right before our performance run? Can I also add that I am really, really busy right now, and don't really have time to give up my evenings at the last minute?
Anyway, the other night, after I left insane-sounding messages on Phil's, Toni's and Meg's answering machines, I talked about the situation with another castmate. She was sympathetic, she was angry too, she is also friends with the defectors and she also felt betrayed by their decision to selfishly and unprofessionally leave the show. Guess what? Today, we all got an email from her. She can't make tonight's show, and can we go on without her? She's sorry, but she was called at the last minute onto a movie set, and, after all, that's her career.
Woah. Despite the obvious hypocrisy and selfishness and inconsiderate and unprofessional behavious, that's her career? Guess what. I have a career too. It's called being a graduate student. I even get paid for it. And guess what else. When I have to attend extra rehearsals because another actor has decided that they decide that they have more important things to do, it cuts into my work time. But guess what else. I made a commitment to the rest of my castmates, to my director, and to the people, who, god knows why, bought tickets to see the show. So sometimes that means I have to make sacrifices.
And you know what else? When I found out that my Mom was going in for hip surgery on opening weekend, the only reason that I didn't beg Trent to cash in our Airmiles so that I could fly to BC and take care of her was that I had made this commitment (am I misspelling that? oh, who cares). So I don't really want to hear about other people's really, really good reasons for not being able to fulfill their commitments right now.
I am so angry right now. Of course, when I get home at midnight, I might repent and delete this entry, so read fast, my friends...
7 comments:
Rebecca:
If I may...
Right on!
Here's my anecdote, for what it's worth:
I shot, on my own dime (thousands of dollars), an indie feature two years ago (still have a couple of scenes left to shoot). A very good young actor, who was with Shakespeare by the Sea at the time, begged me (literally) to be in the film (it was an adaptation of MacBeth). As I said, he was a very good young actor, so I was more than happy to offer him a significant role.
Once filming started, I regretted my decision. He didn't bother to learn his lines, which caused delays when shooting as we worked through it with him. Then, one day, with no warning, he just didn't show up, which not only led to major problems that day, but because of a very tight schedule led to a major problem in re-shooting a critical scene.
His excuse (and, as with your "friends" there was no apology)? He had other things to do (we suspected it was because he was hung over).
I told him I wasn't happy, more or less politely, and then we managed to make the best of a bad situation, and got most, but not all, of what we needed done. The rest I just had to cut, because I didn't want to deal with him again for supplemental shooting.
To him, it was just a non-paying indie gig, so his attitude was "well, so what?"
That's a mistake. In this business, you should try to make as few enemies as possible. Since then, when asked (and I have been) by people who were thinking about casting this actor whether he was any good, I've made a point of relating this experience to them. Heck, I've occassionally mentioned it to pals even if they weren't thinking of casting him, just so they could file it away for future reference.
You reap what you sow.
Best regards (and good luck this weekend),
Paul Kimball
Becca,
I completely sympathize with you! ugh, I know the pain of disappointment ( i am misspelling that, oh who cares! haha awesome!) and lack of respect in the exact regards you are talking about. UGH!
You have integrity,which is something that the people you work or worked with lack.
ps. I LOVE YOUR RANTS! so great.
Good for you. I love your honesty Becca. It is one of the traits I love best about you. and I love that when you are honest and mad you still are nice about it.
I well come as a #$%^&.
I am the type that tries very hard to stay true to her word and that has meant in the past that I have not taken on things that I really wanted to do because in my heart I knew that I would not see the project through to the end. Good luck with the show. Must be hard with no people to play the roles
Holy, I'm far behind on the Becca blog reading, I'm sorry!(I was outta the country....) Give me some time and your blog will once again be infused with my smarta$$ and sometimes inappropriate (perhaps spelled wrong...) comments.
Vent away, Bec. You have every right. When you commit, you commit 100%, and those of us who love you (and even those who are doing some blog snooping - I don't judge) know of your dependability. I can just imagine that, because you are you, you want your shows to be successes, but secretly you want to get the whole #$(@$&@# thing over with too... I'm sorry Bec! I know how passionate you are....
If I was there, I would sit with you and devise an elaborate plan to get even with these frienemies. It would be huge, rediculous, and incredibly harsh, and therefore fantastic. We would never do it, because we'd be arrested and then we'd be my clients (which would be strange....), but the plan concoction would be therapy:).
At the very least you can give me their email addresses/phone numbers and I can sabotage from my end. Wait, are they interlopers? Meh, do it anyway. :)
As well, you should talk to Roz about her 'secret hate'. Its an incredibly effective way to justify um.... ask her. :)
Hey, remember that time in Mexico we almost go locked out of our hotel room and lost our money because it mysteriously 'floated away' in the ocean? hehe.... "Is that garbage???". Smile :) I love you.
Toni
As one of those irresponsible dopes who walks away from shit in the middle of it (as you well know), at least I can say that I'm aware of my irresponsibility and apologize profusely for it.
But this sitch with the play sounds ridiculous, it's like everyone's 4 years old and saying "well he left so I can leave too." They well deserve to be ranted at and someone should give them a good talking to. Who raised these people?
Nones, you were out of the country??!!!!
Las Vegas with Roz and Ange for 4 days!!!! We saw Phantom.... amazing. I bet no one on the Phantom set walked away from their responsibilities days before the show :)
T
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